When I was in my twenties, I felt like my life was one big party! I was still fairly new in my career, I lived on my own, had lots of friends that were single and I was WAY to young to think about my future in regards to my finances! I was racking up my credit card like it was monopoly money thinking I had plenty of time to pay it off later! Life was good. I was considered and adult but it was still OK to be a little irresponsible because I was new at this thing called “adult life.”
Once I hit my thirties, my way of thinking seemed to drastically change. Whoa! I’m 30-something? I have no excuse to be irresponsible! I have to be a responsible person and contribute to society. I need to start thinking about my future and my finances. How am I going to pay off this credit card debt?!?! And as of now I am doing all of this ALONE!
Being thirty-something can be scary especially when you are single and don’t have anyone else to rely on. You don’t have a second income in your household. Most of your friends are married with kids so their priorities have shifted and it may seem like they don’t have time for you when you need them. Ugh…it can be tough and depressing. But am I really that “unlucky” to still be single in my mid-thirties with not too many responsibilities? Maybe not…..
I once had a conversation with my older (and wiser!) sister one night when I was down about my life. She told me something that has stuck with me to this day and I am sure you have all heard it before….you think the grass is always greener on the other side. We all know what that means. You want something that you don’t have but when you do get it, it may not be what you expected. Don’t get me wrong, I know my sister is a happily married mother of two, but there are somethings that she can’t do as easily as I can do and vise versa. If a friend calls me up last-minute and wants to go to happy hour I can go. My sister? Well happy hour is dinner time for her kids. Coordinating a happy hour would take a little more planning than what I would have to do. I’m sure she is also exhausted from a day of chasing around the little ones and probably doesn’t even want to go out anyway! However, I’m sure she wants that wine and some much needed adult conversation!
Then there is sharing your home with another adult. I’m somewhat of a neat freak. I like everything where it should be and not a lot of clutter. What if I come home and there is a sink full of dishes left by my lovely husband? I’m sure this would make me angry! However, I live alone now and if I want to have a sink full of dishes I can! You can’t have it both ways when you live with someone. You can’t get mad at someone when they leave the place a mess and then mess it up yourself the next day. That’s not a good partnership – so I’m told.
There may come a day when I am sick of the Florida sun and want to move to the mountains. OK, that is a long shot but stick with me on this one! If I find a job and want to move to another city I can do it! I can do it tomorrow! If I had a family, that may not be able to happen or it would take A LOT of planning. What about your husband’s job? What about the kids schooling? There are a lot of things to think about. When it’s just me I can go! I just have to pack up Taz (my fat cat) and listen to her scream in the car the whole way there!
Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married and I want to have kids and I believe that some day I will. But there is a reason right now why I am not. I do not know what that reason is and I may never know, but I have finally come to accept that. Yes, I have my days when I’m down about it but I now remind myself of the positive reasons why I am still in the situation I am in. I have had more time than most other people to do the things I want to do in my life without having too much responsibility. I can pick up and move to a new city tomorrow if I want to. I can plan a weekend trip right now and get in my car and go! I consider myself lucky!
So why am I saying all this. On those days when you are feeling down about where you are in your personal or professional life look for the positive. Realize there is a reason that you are where you are and embrace it! From my recent experience it will make your journey in life a lot more exciting.
P.S. For anyone that was wondering, I did manage to pay off my credit card debt. 🙂