“Have you tried online dating?”
You hear it all the time these days. People meeting and starting serious relationships from online websites such as Match, E-harmony and Plenty of Fish. Developers have even made it easier for people and created apps for your phone that you can look at any time such as Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge. There are so many ways to meet people online it should be no problem finding your life partner online right?
Well, I must confess I’m not a big fan of meeting people this way. Although I do agree it is a great way for others to meet it’s just not for me. I have tried it in the past and I have met people from it but I’m not a fan at all. Here’s why:
It feels like it’s an interview process
Just like applying for a job, you fill out your profile (application) online. If someone likes what they see they will reach out to you or you will reach out to them and ask some questions (first interview). From there you will most likely move on to a conversation over the phone (phone interview). If things are still going well, the next step would be to meet somewhere in person (face to face interview). If everything works out then you fall in love and live happily ever after (you got the job…err boyfriend/girlfriend)!
It just doesn’t feel authentic to me. If feels like two people who are trying to hard to find something to be the perfect fit for an open position in their lives.
No matter what anyone says the first thing you are judged on are your looks
You can’t help but do it no matter who you are if you are on a dating website or app. The first thing you see is a picture, so the first thing you consider is the person’s looks. I know I have been attracted or even dated guys that if I just saw their picture I probably would have swiped left! People’s personalities can make them more attractive. If you are cracking jokes left and right and making my stomach ache from laughing, there is a good chance I might find you a little more attractive than I did by just looking at a picture of you – humor gets me every time! 😉
On the other hand, what if no one you swipe right to, wink at or whatever you do to flirt with these days is doing the same back at you? How does that make you feel? It can be a shot to your self-esteem. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not cute enough? Of course you are! It’s just a bad picture. 🙂
It has taken away from meeting people in person like everyone used to do back in the day
Going out and meeting new people has become a game to me. Nobody does it anymore. No one knows how to be social in person anymore unless you are the bartender behind the bar trying to get tips. My guess is people feel more comfortable hiding behind their computer screen talking to people because it’s easier to not get rejected. It’s really sad. Try it the next time you go out. Sit at a bar and watch how people interact. You will find an overwhelming majority of people on their phones talking to whoever and not even paying attention to who they are with. The ones that are not on their phones have no desire to break out of their circle of friends and meet new people. It’s apparently easier to hide behind the screen rather than talk face to face these days. I want a relationship with a human, not a computer and I want it right away! Call me impatient….
You can’t feel that connection right away
For me, I know pretty quickly if there is a connection with someone or not and I can’t feel that connection behind a computer. I have tried and it doesn’t work for me. If I’m not excited to go out with a guy after the second date then I am I know I’m done and I am just forcing myself to feel a connection. Every connection I have felt with a guy has been in person. Not over a computer or text message or app. You have to be pretty good with words to get me interested over a computer or an app and I haven’t seen that happen yet.
You can easily be fooled
We have all heard the horror stories of online dating and people who are not who they say they are. Sadly it’s a pretty common thing to have to worry about. This is something that you always have to be cautious of on top of everything else that you have to worry about when it comes to dating. Do I really need to add this to my already long list of thing to stress about when trying to find my second half? I don’t think so….I will pass thank you!
I’m sure there are plenty of people reading this who think that I am crazy and believe that I should give online dating more of a chance and who knows maybe someday I will. I will be honest, I do have some of the dating apps on my phone and I do go on them once in a while to see what’s out there, but to put forth effort after swiping left or right is the part I get stuck on. For anyone that knows me knows I clearly use it for entertainment purposes. Why a guy thinks standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom with their shirt off making a duck face will get them a girl is beyond me….but best of luck to ya dude! You are putting yourself out there and I guess I’m not as some would say. I think I will be OK without duck face though…. 🙂
I know it can work. I have friends that have met through dating sites who are now married or getting married in a few months and couldn’t be happier! I am so happy for them and glad it worked out for them. I just don’t think I am made for it….at least not yet.